Huggies diapers ✅
Johnson’s baby oil ✅
Baby wipes ✅
I look at my trolley and i laugh. This is ridicilous, i am walking around with a basket full of baby products and for what? For mans. I laugh again.
One fine bros is looking at me hawkingly across the aisle, i think of going to talk to him but think against it. Focus, i tell myself, you need to act your part now. I quickly pay and leave Pick n’ Pay.
“Excuse me,” Someone yells behind me, “Excuse me ma’am.” I turn back and i see that man from the aisle running towards me. What now? These men and their thirst. Maam, huh? He probably can tell that i am young, he probably assumed that since i am here alone i am a single mother or something and is looking for an easy lay. I am already irritated.
“Sorry to disturb you but i could not help but notice you are double buying, how old are your twins?”
Oho mans coming in with the baby angle, nice try my guy.
“One and a half months.”
“I do not mean to pry but you are aware that you have to exclusively breastfeed your child for 6 months before administering anything else that also goes for bottled milk, water, solid foods etc right? My name is Mark by the way, and i have pamphlets here on post and peri natal care that i would like you to have.”
By God! I swear this guy is looking for it, i am late for my lecture and now this clown is in my face talking to me about breastfeeding. Do i look like i breastfeed? Were is this man parked anyhow? Everyone is trying me today.
“No i wasn’t aware, but thank you. Now goodbye.”
He does not move yet he can see i am irritable, men can be annoying please.
“I am sorry if i have offended you ma’am its just that you seem really smart such that you know the advantages of breastfeeding so i am wondering what prohibits you from breastfeeding your own children?”
I seem smart? This man is asking for it please. Yes Sherlock i am in my third year of LLB i guess that qualifies as smart. Also whats with your obsession with breast feeding? Shit, i am going to be late to class again!
I walk away from the breast obsessed man. I find mr Man parked at the end of the parking lot asking me what took me so long. I roll my eyes and just mumble something as we leave i catch a glimpse of mr breastfeeding oga still standing were i left him. He is probably right, if these were my babies i would probably breastfeed them but they are not. Their mother died in labour and now i have to help around mr Man with baby shopping and watching them at the hostel while he is in meetings. My friends think it is a bizzare situation and if my parents ever find out they would probably murder me to death but I love him. I want to him to see the wife material in me so i have to love them babies of his, they are adorable and little so its such an easy task. Maybe if he sees how i love his offspring he will marry me soon after graduation then i can have more babies for him. This is like a trial run, my life will connect very soon.
I smile :).